Q: Any suggestions on negotiating my first contract? Thanks.

Joseph, Alberta, Canada

A: I used to negotiate on a daily basis, and therefore negotiating is something I like to do, almost by instinct (much to my wife’s chagrin!) Whether it is attempting to whittle-down the price of caterer for an upcoming shindig or seeing whether the cabdriver will take me someplace for a reduced, flat-fee, I generally find negotiating both useful and fun. So, yes, I do have a few suggestions. Here are a few of my favorite tips:

Start slow, if possible: It sometimes takes a while to get a feel for the person you will be negotiating with, and if time permits, it is generally a good idea to get your feet wet before jumping in. Try and get a sense of their style, whether they seem like a bluffer or not, and how tough they are. Not everyone likes to negotiate or is good at it. Don’t assume your “adversary” is either a good or bad negotiator; instead try and learn the facts first.

Come in over-prepared: The more you know about the other side and the facts, the better equipped you are to get what you want. For instance, say that you are negotiating a lease in a new building. If you don’t know what the vacancy rate is, if you don’t know what comparable rents in the area go for, if you do not know how long the space has been vacant, it will be hard to get a good deal.

On the other hand, if you do your homework and find out that the space has been empty for six months and that comparable spaces go for $3 a square foot, you might be able to get a few months free and pay $2.50 / square foot.

He who offers first, loses: My brother is fond or reminding me of this maxim. Typically, when you make the first offer, you are setting an upper limit on what you can get. For instance, if you want a raise and tell your boss that you want $5,000 more a year, you will never find out that her budget would have allowed you to get $7,500 more. So try and not make the first offer.

If forced to make the first offer, consider being outrageous. When your boss asks how much of a raise you want, instead of saying “$5,000” try instead, “Well, I think I am worth $25,000 more a year, but I’m sure that is a tad too much. What do you think is fair?”

Have some good tactics ready: There are all sorts of negotiating techniques that you can use to your advantage:

• Silence: This is one of my favorites. When offered a number you do not like, instead of responding, instead say nothing . . . continue to say nothing . . . if the other side talks first, it will likely be to raise the offer and break the uncomfortable silence.
• Flinch: An “involuntary” flinch is likewise used to make the offeror uncomfortable with the offer. Any sort of similar “shocked” response may work in the right circumstances.
• Good cop / bad cop: This age-old strategy does work. The good cop earns the other side’s trust by being reasonable talking about what a jerk the bad cop is. He can then make offers or offer rejections that the bad cop cannot.

Remember it is a negotiation: Their job is to get what they want. They may ask for the sun and be willing to settle for the moon. Do not take it personally. By the same token, build some room into your offer so that they feel like they are getting something too. But always keep in mind your bottom line and do not negotiate below that number / offer.

Be willing to walk: The willingness to walk away from the deal or table is the key to a strong negotiating position. This is the real leverage in any negotiation.

Strive for a deal everyone can live with: A one-sided deal is a deal that will likely be broken.

Today’s tip: A great place to start when learning to negotiate is the classic book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher